My father handed me a book this morning entitled, "Rules for Aging," by Roger Rosenblatt. At 22, I found this premature and slightly insulting...that is, until I read it. Here are some funny insights in the form of "rules":
1. Nobody is thinking about you
Yes, I know, you are certain that your friends are becoming your enemies; that your grocer, garbage-man, clergyman, sister-in-law, and your dog are all of the opinion that you have put on weight, that you have lost your touch, that you have lost your mind; furthermore, you are convinced that everyone spends two-thirds of every day commenting on your disintegration, denigrating your work, plotting your assassination. I promise you: Nobody is thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves - just like you.
2. Listen for the question "What are you talking about"
Should that question arise in response to an accusation, know for certain that the person who said it knows perfectly well what you are talking about. Respond accordingly.
3. Run when you hear any of the following in a sentence:
"...unity and harmony"
"...love, unity, and harmony"
"...the human condition "
"...the human spirit"
4. Never say any of the following:
"That's the best thing you've ever done!"
"How much is this boat"
"My door is always open"
"You look lovely today"
"Why not?!" or "Oh, what the hell" or "What have I got to lose?"
"Do we really need a contract?"
5. Culture rules:
See no movie that has been called "exquisite"
Read no novel that has been called "brave"
Attend no concert that has been called "long, but worth every minute"
Attend no opera that begins with the word "Der"
Attend no other opera.
6. It doesn't matter
Whatever you think matters - doesn't. Follow this rule, and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late, or early; if you are here, or if you are there; if you said it, or did not say it; if you were clever, or if you were stupid; if you are having a bad hair day, or a no hair day; if you boss looks at you cockeyed; if your girlfriend or boyfriend looks at you cockeyed; if you are cockeyed; if you don't get that promotion, or prize, or house, or if you do. It doesn't matter.
See the book HERE