BETTER BOOK TITLES

Re-designed book covers with re-imagined titles via Better Book Titles:

 The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand - "Hate-Fucking and Architecture"

 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson - "This is the First Book I've Read in 6 Years"

 Where the Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak - "Skipping Dinner is like Dropping Acid"

 The Elements of Style, E.B. White - "Correct Your Friends like a Dick"

 Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky - "Rent Was Too Damn High!"

The Age of Innocence, Edith Wharton - "Emotions are for Poor People"

 Oedipus the King, Sophocles - "How I Met Your Mother"

 Beowolf, trans. Seamus Heaney - "Y Tu Mama Tambien"

 Collected Poems, Allen Ginsberg - "TMI"

Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien - "A Walk to Remember"

TOO GOOD.

LIVE LONGER, ATTAIN PERFECTION

Neutra house

My father handed me a book this morning entitled, "Rules for Aging," by Roger Rosenblatt. At 22, I found this premature and slightly insulting...that is, until I read it. Here are some funny insights in the form of "rules":

1. Nobody is thinking about you

Yes, I know, you are certain that your friends are becoming your enemies; that your grocer, garbage-man, clergyman, sister-in-law, and your dog are all of the opinion that you have put on weight, that you have lost your touch, that you have lost your mind; furthermore, you are convinced that everyone spends two-thirds of every day commenting on your disintegration, denigrating your work, plotting your assassination. I promise you: Nobody is thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves - just like you.

2. Listen for the question "What are you talking about"

Should that question arise in response to an accusation, know for certain that the person who said it knows perfectly well what you are talking about. Respond accordingly.

3. Run when you hear any of the following in a sentence:

"...unity and harmony"
"...love, unity, and harmony"
"...humanity"
"...the human condition "
"...the human spirit"

4. Never say any of the following:

"That's the best thing you've ever done!"
"How much is this boat"
"My door is always open"
"You look lovely today"
"Why not?!" or "Oh, what the hell" or "What have I got to lose?"
"Do we really need a contract?"


5. Culture rules:

See no movie that has been called "exquisite"
Read no novel that has been called "brave"
Attend no concert that has been called "long, but worth every minute"
Attend no opera that begins with the word "Der"
Attend no other opera.


6. It doesn't matter

Whatever you think matters - doesn't. Follow this rule, and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late, or early; if you are here, or if you are there; if you said it, or did not say it; if you were clever, or if you were stupid; if you are having a bad hair day, or a no hair day; if you boss looks at you cockeyed; if your girlfriend or boyfriend looks at you cockeyed; if you are cockeyed; if you don't get that promotion, or prize, or house, or if you do. It doesn't matter.


See the book HERE

IN PRINT

What I've just finished:

Bossypants, Tina Fey
Autobiography. Fun and frivolous, narrated in Fey's signature witty, self-deprecating tone.
If you enjoy 30 Rock, READ THIS!

Look Me in the Eyes, John Elder Robinson
Autobiography. Story of a man's struggle growing up with Aspergers Syndrome.
For those who are unfamiliar with this disability, it's a great way to get into the mind of a person who struggles with high-functioning Autism. 

A Whole New Mind, Daniel H. Pink
Non-fiction. Why right-brainers will rule the future; how technological changes will favor creative right-brainers instead of analytic lefties.
I'm a sucker for non-fiction, but this one does feel a bit repetitive and dry, at times. You can get the gist in the first hundred pages and skip the rest.